Code:

 /*
     TOP SECRET Microsoft(c)  Code
     Project: Chicago(tm)
     Projected release-date: MAY 1998
    $History$
 */

 #include "win31.h"
 #include "win95.h"
 #include "evenmore.h"
 #include "oldstuff.h"
 #include "billrulz.h"
 #define INSTALL = HARD

 char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

 void main()
 {
     while(!CRASHED)
     {
         display_copyright_message();
         display_bill_rules_message();
         do_nothing_loop();
         if (first_time_installation)
         {
             make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
             do_nothing_loop();
             totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();

             search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
             hang_system();
         }
         write_something(anything);
         display_copyright_message();
         do_nothing_loop();
         do_some_stuff();
         if (still_not_crashed)
         {
             display_copyright_message();
             do_nothing_loop();
             basically_run_windows_3.1();
             do_nothing_loop();
             do_nothing_loop();
         }
     }

     if (detect_cache())
         disable_cache();

     if (fast_cpu())
     {
         set_wait_states(lots);
         set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
         set_mouse(action, jumpy);
         set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
     }

     /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
     /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
     printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
     if (system_ok())
          crash(to_dos_prompt);
     else
         system_memory = open("a:swp0001.swp" O_CREATE);

     while(something)
     {
         sleep(5);
         get_user_input();
         sleep(5);
         act_on_user_input();
         sleep(5);
     }
     create_general_protection_fault();
 }